So I almost Died

It was a crummy Friday afternoon. The rain was absolutely pouring. This was no condition to bike and I had the chills while on toilet. A headache made my head pound. I absolutely hate it when I cannot focus enough at work to complete tasks, but that is what happened. Feeling bad for my employer, I decided it was time to go home. I called the wife, and she drove me home. I curled up in the bed and attempted to feel better while watching Netflix.
Instead of feeling better, I kept feeling worse. The headache increased making it hurt too much to watch Netflix. Bible study for the wife was canceled (miraculously) so she returned early. After putting the kid to bed, she came by and felt my forehead. My temperature was about 102 and seemed to be rising. It didn't go away after a couple hours. We tried to lower it, but only got it down to around 101.6. I felt such chills that just putting the blanket back on jumped it back over 102. My awesome wife arranged to have the kid watched for the night.
While waiting for them to arrive on the bed, something strange happened. My body began to communicate to me that it wasn't going to make it. Maybe to the hospital, but probably not the next day. I texted a few friends (don't feel hurt if you weren't texted...I only could focus enough for a few texts). I began to pray that God wouldn't take me yet. Not for me. I knew I'd go to heaven with the smallest pat on the back upon arrival. But for the wife and kid. Financially, it would be very difficult, but especially emotionally too.
While my wife was giving the family watching the kid instructions, it's hard to explain but my body continued to tell me I wasn't going to make it. It was telling me that my time was coming. I was telling it and God to give me more time. On the way I was feeling more and more nauseous. I began my patented pre-vomit cough, still fighting it. Right before our destination, the wife stepped on the gas to the emergency drop off section. I opened the door and let my load out. I felt a bit better, but was unable to sign anything like my signature.

The hospital took us in pretty quickly and made us repeat the symptoms various times. I vomited again while being seen by the doctor. My sister-in-law was also there providing emotional support and keeping the wife strong. The wife had picked up that I thought I was going to die. Initially, my doctor thought I had Meningitis. They were pumping me with fluid and generic antibiotics, but he was convinced checking for Meningitis was crucial. I was nervous especially when they had me sign a sheet with the side effects listed. The worst headache in the world, paralysis, and other terrible things I don't remember. My doctor was great, but it was very scary.
I got the shot. It was the worst experience related to my back. I felt a needle go between my vertebrae. I would not recommend. They also make you curl up into the fetal position for the procedure. After this, they told me I would have to wait 72 hours, but it'd be great if I could pee for them. I had consumed two liters of liquids, and had a small amount of very yellowish...red(?) urine that I was able to conjure up.
I stayed at the hospital for a couple days after admission. The summary was that my lactic acid level had trouble going down with low blood pressure and I was experiencing sepsis shock due to my organs trying to shut down. That explains why it felt like I was dying...because my brain was telling me I was. In the end, they tested many things and it turned out to be a virus. I received 8 pricks in total. When I was contemplating my mortality, money and work did not even register. Family was what I thought about, and if they would be okay. Also, I realized that like a small fire on a candle, life can be snuffed out in an instant.
Getting out of the hospital was another battle. The kid had, and would continue to rotate the grandparents and in-laws. My doctor prescribed me off of work for 4 days, instructing me to be very nice to my back.

Unfortunately, my wife also came down with this virus. Thankfully, we knew how to treat it and had her drink 32oz of water an hour for the first 8 hours or so. It was hard for her, but we managed to keep her out of the hospital. Family and friends really came together making us easy to prepare dinners. They were a lifesaver, and helped immensely. I'm convinced that it was God watching over me through the prayers of friends and family that kept me from dying. The hospital staff stated my chance of survival would have been much lower if I had waited any longer to come in, especially if I had tried to go to sleep. They believed I would have died if I slept a normal amount instead of coming in. Before coming to the hospital, I was drinking a regular amount of water and not sweating or peeing. Not sure where the water went, but it was gone.
When people ask me now what happened, I lazily want to skimp on details and downplay it like it was no big deal. Really though, it was a big deal, so that is why I've taken a break from bashing materialism and written a post about what happened.
Thanks for everyone who helped me survive and recover. It was powerful to watch people come together for a common purpose and loving on us. My dad did a group text with local pastors who prayed. Although life is a struggle and toil, I'm very thankful for this extension on life, and protection for the family. People brought tasty casseroles, pizza, homemade mac and cheese, soup, bread, candy bars and more. My dad visited me and we had a good talk about life and family. One of my friends narrowly missed me going into the hospital, but was there for me in text. At work, people who weren't initially contacted, offered to bring their own soups and other foods. So much love. Thanks everyone who helped us get through this difficult time (yes, there are more people than mentioned in this post!).

Jonesing On All the Wrong Things

You talk about Jonesing...this is all I hear.

I met a Joneser. After talking with him (nicest guy), the wife asked me if I was going to write a blog post about it. I said no...but then thought about it while showering. So, here is the break down. My buddy is good at remembering prices, and the wife was feeling it was coming off as Jonesing.

He was complaining that their kiddo had broken another TV, costing them either $400-$500 (I don't remember which he said). He also bought a TV mount to go with it from Walmart for $75. And his fishing gear was worth $600. I was impressed he had awareness of how much the stuff he was buying cost.

Here is what I came away with. Jonesing isn't allocating money well. Wow, I know. You say "how deep Bravely Content! I would have never found that out alone!". Let me explain. As we know, Jonesing is buying stuff you don't need to impress people you don't like. This kind fellow also shared that his wife and him spent about $600 on their one kiddo for Christmas. My wife and I spend under $200 for all Christmas gifts this year (yes. Still is a lot). But, this did not bother me on a personal level which comes to the second observation.

The second thing I came away with is that I automatically sort purchases I hear to how urgently needed they are, and the price. I don't personally feel like a second class citizen when someone is allocating their money unnecessarily or poorly. In fact, I feel shame when I hear someone bad assing their budget or purchases. That is something I envy.

Must...shred...all...money!

No giant rant today, Just an observation that I've become so disconnected with the Jones's, that Jonesing just seems wasteful to me but doesn't trigger jealousy. When Yukon's and Suburban's floor it next to me while I am biking, all I hear is money being shredded and a guy panting "must...shred...all...money."

This is what the Chevy looks like

One other funny observation. There is a giant brand new Chevy Suburban that regularly is driven to an event the wife and I go to. I didn't feel less of a man parking next to it in my '97 Honda. I felt bad for the guy's finances, and happy for the salesman who got a fat payoff. On a personal level though, I still do feel angry when I see that Chevy running, without anyone inside or in sight. As if shredding money when driving isn't enough, this guy goes the extra mile and shreds money when he isn't even around! It's like reverse compounding interest.

Quick Guide to Save Money

Cutting costs makes my wife uncomfortable. However, I believe it is key to living simply. Every situation is different.

Pre-req's
1. Make a budget.
2. Compare to your income

Comparison Items:

1. Housing is usually the most expensive budget item. Simply, is your living in an extremely expensive place? Do you own or rent (renting is much more appropriate if you living lease by lease and want the option to move)? Do you have more house and property than needed? How much could you save by downsizing? This is often the hardest thing to adjust. Currently, I live in a multi-family setting for a very manageable amount of rent.
Savings:
$600/month lower rent
$50/month utilities (split)
-$60/month extra gas

2. Cars are another large budget item. Do you pay monthly payments on a car? What if I told you that most people don't need a newer vehicle? My wife's car is 18 years old, with 231k miles on it, running strong. I paid $3000 for it and have done minimum repairs on the about 40k miles put on it. No monthly payments, low insurance cost and cheap parts. The value of the car isn't going to fall with a small new scratch. This is the easiest thing to quickly save on. Do be careful when buying a used car though as many people who do no maintenance try to overprice their car. Use kbb.com. Stick with an inexpensive, reliable car. My wife had a Saturn when we met and spent about $100/month on it for some random repair. Sometimes reliable vehicles are not in good condition. Have someone you trust help you choose a vehicle. The people who are braver than me ditch 1-2 cars and go bikes. That is the ultimate way to save, but you need to have transportation worked out.
Savings:
$500/month no vehicle payments
$100/month lower insurance from older vehicle
$50/month high mileage vehicles (mine gets 35 average per gallon. Not bad for a $2.5k car)

3. Health insurance is a sore spot due to new regulations. This I don't know as much about since you have to comply with new rules and coverage not always accepted. Remember that the purpose of insurance is risk management. A Dr. visit isn't a risk. Large overpriced medical bills are a risk. Somehow, I ended up with a job including benefits. This is harder to calculate how much we save, but comparing it to when we were on another plan it is about $100/mo
Savings:
$100/month lower monthly (lower deductible)

4. Internet and cell services can also make quick savings. My wife used to be with Verizon because we lived in a remote location. Now she is with Republic Wireless (reseller of Sprint, roams on Verizon). For unlimited texts and calling we pay $10 a month. We had to buy the phone for about $200 but have no contract. Meaning, we can have the phone last as long as we want and not be forced to pay for it via subsidized phone price in monthly cost. In 2 years, she will have spent $440 on phone service on Republic Wireless, compared to $1060 on Verizon. In 3 years if the phone lasts, she will have spent $560, compared to $1540 on Verizon. She also now can use her phone on WiFi for internet, with a much better phone. Internet service is more tricky due to different providers. Research what is local to find savings (without bundling! Stay away from that!)
Savings:
$26.67/month

5. Cable. Trade your cable in for Netflix (or Hulu). Go from overpriced to $8/month and have no commercials.
Savings:
$12-92/month

6. Cut your local landline. You can just use cell phones, or set up a new telephone number via Google voice and use that. Last I checked, that could be used to have off-time to prevent sales calls at inconvenient hours.
Savings:
$20+-/month

7. Taxes. The tax code supports tax avoidance (legally finding ways to avoid paying taxes). Tax evasion is illegally lying or not paying what the tax code determines you should pay. Collecting your donations, mortgage interest, student interest, Hope/American Opportunity Credit and dozens more can help you have a refund. If you don't care about knowing taxes, perhaps ask your accountant what will give you the best return on your time.

8. Find new ways to save. Make it like a contest or something you do to enjoy yourself. Do you really both need 2 Macbooks? What if you had 1 Macbook and 1 tablet/Chromebook? That could save $800 on a one time purchase.

9. Get buy-in from yourself and family, otherwise extra purchases will replace savings. Perhaps you are saving for a down, or trying to get debt free. The important thing is to get the entire team on board. If you are married to a spender, provide limited amounts of credit. Sure, this person may max out the credit card, but if they have a credit limit of $200 or less per month, that is manageable.

10. My wife cooks naan bread from bulk ingredients instead of buying bread. We also grow some vegetables. A quick estimate says we save a few bucks per month, but it is much more healthy so that is a quality of life increase for less money.

If you add up all of the saving minimums, it comes to about 16.7k a year. That is quite a bit of savings for minimum sacrifices. Be sure to somewhat regularly compare to your budget and make sure you are spending within it. Lean more to asking if you need it, rather than you want it. Dear reader, what have I missed? What are some things you do to save extra money and what do you save it for?

Having Joy in Life

For New Years day, the family and a group from a nearby church went on a walk. It was about 3.5 miles so you serious exercising people can chuckle at our limited walking ability. It was nice though. Emma was sleeping in the stroller, instead of continuing her fussiness. Grace talked with some locals of the area about life, animals and her childhood. My father-in-law told me about how the BLM (Bureau of Land Management) paid low prices to force the owners of the houses off the land where we were walking, built a road for a future dam, and then closed the project when the dam project was canceled due to invalid reasons that were later disproved. The land was never returned from BLM.

Dog without a leash

Although we complained about the dam and the unleashed dogs ignoring their owners calls, we all recharged from the exercise and community of shared beliefs. This brings me to the importance of exercise. Even small efforts to regularly work out can greatly improve your life quality.

When I was in college I was dirt poor and homeless. I did not have many possessions and would parkour. It was the free thing I could do that kept me strong, and helped keep me be happy. With that said, due to car accidents and sleepless night with the child, I completely got off an exercise schedule and didn't parkour anymore. To help combat this, our family has joined this walking group. Grace is miles ahead of me in exercising. She regularly goes to a gym and is excited to receive work-out equipment for Holidays. I have much to learn from my wife for utilizing my body to achieve simple living.

Babysitting. It Rocks

Today was a nice day. The wife and I celebrated our anniversary today. We went to P.F. Chang's today. How did we afford this extravagance while the RV is in the shop and we are living in a multi-family house with the in-laws? Well, my parents gave us a gift certificate and watched the baby Emma. Emma's great grandpa also saw Emma. Bless their hearts.

We went to the restaurant, and experienced what it is like to date like single people. It was lovely. I love my wife and understand how people have a hard time staying in love. My kid is amazing, and I developed a love for her I had no idea that I had. My wife is amazing too though, and I want to keep her loved.

After P.F. Chang's, we went to Barnes and Noble. This is something we used to do a lot while dating. It's a relaxed environment with a great selection of books. My wife looked up some books to help spice up our intimate life, and I looked up a couple books to help me know what I am supposed to do for blogging. They also had some very interesting games. Most of what we saw was not the best of deals especially considering used books. We did buy a few books there that were decently priced to help the local community and a few books online after the fact to help keep the budget in check.

This brings me to the heart of Simple Living. We don't need to make our lives complicated to help it feel better. The groundwork is good. I love Grace. I love Emma. I love my job. I love the challenges life throws at us. Simple Living means that I stop keeping up with the Jones's and enjoy everything.

My wife and I tell ourselves we are very independent...although I think co-dependence is a better description. I am totally guilty of over-burdening myself and the wife in the name of perceiving ourselves as independent.

So, what do I take away from this? More babysitting, more relaxing, and less stressing over the uncontrollable things in life!

Background Info

Home, sweet home

Our family lives in a 39' fifth wheel. For those that don't know, a fifth wheel is like an RV minus the engine. Here is a picture of our home.

The reason we live in a fifth wheel is simple. When our only child Emma was born, my wife and I lived in a nice apartment for $875 + utilities. Considering that neither my wife and I had high paying jobs, and moving to an apartment with another bedroom would cost an additional $150, we sought out a less typical solution.

We could have returned to our previous living quarters at Rather Shadyville and continue paying $875 for an extra bedroom. Another option though was to buy an RV style vehicle and live near my wife's parents. We did not have a down for a house and did not want to risk the housing market with a 30 year commitment. What caused us to finance a new fifth wheel is that the monthly payment was less than $500. My wife and I could not find a less expensive solution with two bedrooms. That saved money went to raising Emma.

How my acquaintances see me

Socially, my acquaintances believe I don't understand how the world works. I think they are right. My American Dream is different than the typical expensive house, new cars, dogs, etc. Someday we may purchase a house. However, being debt free is more important to us. Unfortunately, we have student debt, hospital debt, and fifth wheel debt to pay off. Fortunately, we are paying the debt off each month beyond the minimum payment.